Go Ye

It's so easy when God clearly gives you an answer to a request. A firm reply through a loud speaker that says "Ruth, 'this' is exactly what I want you to do." But so often that's not how he works. So often it's the still, small, quiet voice that leads gently. So gently that sometimes we aren't aware of what He's doing in us until it is done. Then we can see clearly.

A while back we had a missionary at church who spoke. And while she was speaking God was turning me inside out. I wasn't sure if it was because I have a son across the world in missions right now, or if He was calling me to go on a mission trip, but I KNEW God was really talking to me powerfully that day.

Then a month and a half ago they had an informational meeting about a mission trip to the Phillipines. As it turned out, I couldn't attend that day. Then we had another missionary.......from the Philippines no less and his teaching was awesome. But more important God gave me a clear vision of what His work looks like. And what true faith is. Actively trusting Him.

We had another meeting....the very weekend I am in Chicago, so again I cannot attend. I began to think maybe that was a sign that it wasn't meant for me. Then God opened my heart to the thought that maybe satan was just putting obstacles in my way and God was waiting to see if I was obedient. So I picked up an application for the mission trip. Name, address, phone number: easy. When were you saved: easy. What areas do you currently serve in this ministry: easy. Do you faithfully serve sow into the Kingdom of God: easy. Have you been baptized: easy. Why do you want to go to the Philippines on this trip? Whoa.

Great question. I'm certain that I do not fully understand or comprehend God's plan for this trip. I know God has given me a heart for it. I know that I need to find out more. I believe that He wants me to be a part of it, but in what capacity I am not sure. Am I going? Am I supporting? Is He preparing me to receive believers back when they return?

One thing I'm sure of is that both meetings so far have been at times I could not attend them. It would be very easy to give in to thinking like the world does and feel like that is a sign I'm not supposed to go. However it's clear to me that that is not the case.

Perhaps this is just a call to obedience in my life to step out in faith. I honestly don't know the exact thing God is doing right now. I just know He's calling me to take another step.

Honestly, I don't think I can answer the question "Why" do you "want" to go to the Philippines on this trip. I don't know why. And I'm not sure I could say I 'want' to go. I mean you 'want' to go to Hawaii on holiday, but you "go" where you feel called by God to go when it comes to mission trips.

So I am waiting on the Lord. But I do realize that he often doesn't give me the full picture. He gives me bits at a time. Kind of like a puzzle piece. As I obey the little steps he gives me I begin to see portions of the picture and realize I am on the right track. Then suddenly it all comes together in such a beautiful way...but often not the exact picture I was anticipating. Better, oh so much better! But if I had something in mind and tried to make parts fit that really didn't lock together properly it would've been mishapen and distorted.

God has a plan. His plan for me today was to consider what He is saying to me. So I am filling out the application form knowing that He will use my obedience. And if that's the call He has for me........he will give me everything I stand in need of. God is good. All the time. All the time. God is good.